If I had a nickel for every "Can we go to the pool?" I could drink every Diet Coke in the pool vending machine every day all summer forever.

Moms, please, ixnay on the oolpay. Have I made myself clear? No? Well then, let me give it to you in a NickMom haiku.

Let's change the subject, shall we? I was delighted to find out that none other than Heather Davis, the Minivan Momma herself, recommended my little book as one of her Summer 14 Must Reads. In fact, she says you should read it at the ...GAH! I thought we just agreed not to mention it!

It's official. I'm hilarious. For this I thank Leigh Ann Torres and allParenting.com, who somehow saw fit to include me on a list of truly Hilarious Moms Around The Web.

When I shared this exciting news with my son, he replied, "No, you're not. You never say anything funny." I must have looked confused, because he went on to explain that my only joke is, "What do ninjas like to drink? wa-TAAAAA!" (which is a very good joke, by the way, and you know it). Life is hard when your family is not in your target demographic.

Since I clearly have this family thing all figured out, you might as well benefit. On NickMom today, I'm decoding what your mother-in-law really means in that friendly email. Think before you click: Can you handle the truth? If not, maybe you'd better stick with haiku.

You really should come visit me on Facebook. I asked my haiku buddies to come up with an alternate third line for this NickMom haiku and haiku hilarity ensued.